blah...tired

So Ryder had his 4 month shots yesterday and he has been moody all day! He turned 4 months on the 4th of february, but we couldn't get in until this week. He weighs 16lbs 4oz and is 25 1/4 in long! Getting to be a big boy! I get really excited when Josh has to pick him up. I work late tuesdays and thursdays and as I get home at 6:30 Ryder is screaming his head off, so mommy comes in and saves the day. That's why I love when Josh picka him up...I can come home and save the day! Lol
A few other things...I am trying to plan a trip for spring break. I would love to go see my sister in Mass. But I don't think we will have the money so I might end up taking a trip to death valley again with some friends! We went last year and it was great, even when I was 14 weeks pregnant!
Other things, well just working and spending as much time with Ryder as possible. I am planning on working summer school, but now they are saying that they may not have it this year, which would really bite because the extra money would be so much help! I am trying to get classes lined up to start in march, but not looking to good! I have to take a bunch of classes to finish my credential, so hoping I can get them straightened out. I guess this what happens when I wait until the last minute!
Well, about to fall asleep! Hope everyone has a good weekend of relaxation!

good time...

So, I am thrilled to say I finally found a daycare for Ryder. I am so thrilled everytime I drop him off he smiles and gets all happy, but then when I pick him up he gets so mad at me when I put him in the carseat, like he doesn't want to leave. It got me thinking...when he starts learning how to talk, what word is he going to learn first? Ya, he is with me on the weekends and vacation days, but from 7 to 4 everyday he is at daycare and around the other kids. Is he going to learn their names first? Does he even miss me? I'm sure he does, but then again he gets so mad when we leave. Only time will tell!
I am getting professional pictures of Ryder on monday and can't wait. I have never had professional pictures done because I take my own pictures, but I am excited. Came across a good deal and couldn't pass it up. I'm hoping it all works out good! I am sure I am going to end up spending more after the pictures are done, but that's fine!
Josh is also working 6 days of the week now, which is nice because we have extra money coming in, but then he is never here to help me. He expects me to get everything done and it just doesn't work that way with a 4 month old. Oh well, at least he is helping!

so tired of everything

So, things are going good so far. Josh and I are doing so much better. Times seemed so tough for awhile there, but with 2 weeks away from each other, it seems to have brought us closer together. we are still working on things and trying to be equal in everthing. Meaning we both have chores we do and both have certain responsibilties to take. Besides my normal teaching job I am doing a home hospital, which I have only one student, but that means that on my own time I have to meet with this student 5 hour out of the week. It sucks because I feel like that is 5 hours that I don't get to spend with Ryder, but we really need the money and we are trying so hard to save what we can, so every little bit helps. Also, starting at the beggining of febuary I will be working at nights from 3:15 to 6 :15, 2 days of the week, again, more time away from Ryder. I keep thinking that I am being such a bad mommy for not spending this time with him, but I keep telling myself, the weekends are so much more precious and also, I am saving for Ryders future so he will be able to do the things he wants. I think also this will be my last summer working summer school. I really want to have another baby by april of next year, so I'm trying my hardest to be prepared for all that is to come. Things are so much harder now that josh is also working a second job. I love the fact that he is working to help out more, but I sure do miss him. I love the fact that we both get off during the week around the same time, which gives us so much family time, but now fridays and saturdays seem so lonely.
Besides all that ryder is getting so big! He has to be nearly 15 lbs by now, but he is so tall it evens out! I can't imagine my life without him. All he does now is smile at everything! I love his little giggle, he cracks me up! He is also getting better with sleeping all night! He is such a good boy, going to be so strong and he is going to grow into such a handsome man! I love him so much!!!

Want to do it all!

So, i decided how nice it has been to have my family around. I love all my friends in California don't get me wrong, but I would love so much but to move closer to my family. I figured after next school year would be the best time. I am going to keep my eyes open for a job position in Minnesota. I am sure Josh will be willing to move as well. I hate to take him from his family, but isn't that what life is all about??? Everyone grows up and moves away. we eventually only see each other on the holidays and reunions. I guess eve if I get a job in the Cities, the housing is so much cheaper, I could raise my family in such a good community and I would only be yet a couple hours drive from my mom and dad. Josh and i have been thinking for a while to move, but I really have been wanting to wait 5 years at my job due to my student loans being paid for if I stay at the same school for 5 years. Lets see, quit with one year ahead and start over, or work one more year away from my family and get $15,000 paid off.... we don't even have to think about that one. I guess if we did move then I wouldn't feel so bad about the holidays. I guess I just feel obligated to fly to Minnesota every Christmas because I never see my family. I was extremely disappointed this year due to the fact that my grandma had changed the Christmas party from the 26th of December to the 19th of December, which meant that I saw no one from that side of my family. I could have flown out on the 18th of December has I known. Well, i guess to make up for this misfortune my mom has graciously put together a "meet the baby" shower for Tomorrow. I am extremely pumped because it will be all my aunts and cousins!!! Its exciting to know that my mom would go out of her way to do this!!!

Well, besides all that Ryder rolled over for the first time the other day!!! So exciting!!! He is nearly 14 lbs!!!! I couldn't believe it when I checked, unless my moms scale is wrong!!! LOL
Josh is back in California, I guess running around with all his friends in 70 degree weather, while I am in Minnesota where it has been the coldest all winter at -30 degrees...thats right, I said NEGATIVE!!!! You literally walk outside and instantly your frozen!!! LOL Cars can't even start in this temperature, unless they are in a garage, LOL

new year, new life!!!

The new year is upon us and everything has changed. I can't believe that I am now a mommy! It's so weird to think that this time last year Ryder was nothing more than a small egg inside of me and now he is almost 14lbs and growing bigger each and every day. It really makes me think as well how much I never really wanted children and now that I have one, I really want another. I have really thought it through and my sister and brother were all so close in age that I want the same for Ryder. So, I have came to the decision to have another baby within the next year. I want to wait until Ryder is close to 6 months before I start trying for another baby. I am really hoping for a boy, but to be honest, as long as it is healthy, I will be happy. Also, I am pushing Josh to make a promise that we will eventually get married, I always say i don't want to get married, but I would like the commitment of marriage. Meaning I would like the assurance that I will be the only "lady" in Josh's life. I guess it may be a trust thing, but I really want to make sure that we are happy and that we will grow old together! I am really looking forward to this new year. I can't wait to see Ryder grow up and to live my life with the many adventures to follow!!!

Introduction

So, my name is Clarissa. I am 25 years old, live with my boyfriend Josh for almost 2 years now and together we have a beautiful son named Ryder. Ryder was born October 4th, 2009 at 10:06pm. He was 8lbs, 5 oz, and 20 in long. It was one of the best moments of my life welcoming him to our family. I honestly never really wanted to be a mom, well, I did, but never thought I would be ready for it. Now that I am a mom, I couldn't think of anything better in life.

I grew up my whole life in Minnesota and recently moved to California to teach High School Earth Science. I have currently been teaching for 4 years now and I love it!!! This is where I met Josh.

Yes, everyone has there ups and downs, but it is really how you make of it. I would love nothing more than to be living the single life and to be only me, but I love the men I have in my life and I honestly can say, I don't know what I would do without them!!!